I sometimes wonder if everyone has gone extremely pussy, or if it’s just me. In terms of people being pussy, it probably is just me…but Jesus H. Christ! At least I try to not get my big-boy undies in a knot over stuff that doesn’t really fucking matter. Like…hmmm…let me think of a good example here…uhhhh, yeaaaahhhh….WAIT! I know! Like, say, Toronto University students crawling through slush downtown in their underwear! YEAH! Perfect example!

Y’know, believe it or not I was going to do a blog on the whole fags getting the right to butt-bump their lovers, and lezzies getting the freedom to have a pie eating contest thing going on in the States right now, but I opted for college students rolling around in cold slush in their underwear…getting all wet…and chilly…and…naked…and……and….WET….! Okay, okay focus!! I promise I’ll get to the whole homo love-in that is happening in Washington sooner than later. And I promise it’ll be witty and smart-assed and contain the word fuck. But right now NAKED COLLEGE STUDENTS! YEAH BABY!

A few days ago, engineering students at Toronto’s Ryerson University took part in a sacred, time-honored tradition that befalls all engineering students as they edge closer to obtaining their graduate degrees which will allow them to continue on in life as, mature, respectable adults by…crawling through slush in their underwear. Fuck yeah! This year however, the event was caught on video and uploaded to YouTube where it was made to look like some weird, bizarre hazing scandal in which students were forced to humiliate themselves and be degraded in the worst possible way: getting pointy nipples from the cold. 

Of course when the video went viral (because, hey, who doesn’t want to see, young sexy college students wearing very little clothing and drenched from head to toe), it was labeled as an indefensible insult to the University and education as a whole by several politicians and even the Present of Ryerson himself. Oh, how DARE this bratty, insensitive, selfish, wild, unmoral and loose youth DEGRADE the prestigious legacy of Ryerson by crawling through slush in their undergarments for all of five minutes! What treachery!  

Before I go on being a sarcastic asshole, I’d like to point out two things:

1) Engineering students are fucking crazy motherfuckers. They are hard-fucking-core. I should know…I dated one.

and

2) This wasn’t a hazing initiation. Pretty much every news source quotes students as saying the event was totally optional. Forcing someone to crawl through cold slush against their will is wrong. Doing it because you want to…is some pretty fucking serious shit. That takes balls.

So, okay, fine. These students had their little slush crawling games, froze their sex, panty and boxer clad asses off, then went inside. From what I can see in the video, everyone was laughing and having a good time. No one seemed hurt, distressed or upset. It was like a big five minute joke.

Then, when the president saw the video…things got a little weird.

I’m not the president of a University. I don’t have that title to my name. If I had a title to my name, it would probably be “Sir Jerks-Off-A Lot.” And I get it, these students were on campus, and it isn’t their property. But this was an annual event. It had been going on for several years. I have trouble believe that the good president, or someone close to him didn’t know this was going on in one way or another at some point. I mean, when sexy college students take their clothes off, it is bound to get some sort of attention. It was only this year, however, when a video of the event went viral with the description making it SOUND like it was some sort of forced hazing event that was morally  questionable…then and ONLY then did Ryerson president Levy release a statement condoning the acts. Again, it was on campus. Not the student’s property per say…but Levy just didn’t condemn the acts. He WAAAAY fucking condemned the acts. Just read the statement he released on the Ryerson website. 

“There is no excuse for the completely unacceptable activities that took place at the event, and anyone who contends it is ‘just fun’ or ‘builds community’ has no place at Ryerson.”

So I get it. President Levy doesn’t like the idea of his sexy students in their underwear getting all wet and nipple-hardeningly cold. It’s okay Levy, impotency is nothing to be ashamed about, they have drugs for that now…….

WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK? Did you SEE THAT LINE?  

“…anyone who contends it is ‘just fun’ or ‘builds community’ has no place at Ryerson.”

No place at Ryerson? WHAT THE FUCK?! So anyone who has partaken in the event over the years, gone on to complete exams and studies and potentially graduated or is almost ready to graduate has NO FUCKING PLACE AT RYERSON? REALLY! Well that’s pretty interesting. I find it odd how this is a sudden interest to you ONLY AFTER Ryerson’s reputation is at risk in the media. Universities, especially Ryerson, claim to stake their reputation on caring for, and nurturing students. That doesn’t mean when the going gets tough and our school may look bad, let us blame in on the students who fucking PAY to go to this FUCKING SCHOOL. Ryerson isn’t a public school, it is a University. As such it owns its campus and can dictate what goes on on their grounds. If president Levy really had a problem with this annual event, he should have put his foot down long ago…not suddenly when the story garners enough media attention to potentially make Ryerson “look bad,” in the press.  

It was easy to find many media articles, statements by politicians and faculty that were quick to condemn the event and the University. However, none were sticking up for the students. To make an outlandish statement that people who condone or even may enjoy having fun in this manner have no place at Ryerson is fucking retarded. It isn’t like the engineering students are Ryerson are some sort of shit disturbing assholes who shed clothing whenever they feel the time is right. And have you seen the exams and classes engineering students have to fucking endure to graduate? Fuck, the least we can do is let them blow off a little steam with a quick dip in the fridge slush once and a while. Especially if I’m around to witness it.

Universities have become less and less of what they originally planned to be when the idea was formed. The idea of a comfortable, secure learning place where everyone is polite and no one is challenged (unless it is by huge workloads, overloaded classes and stressful deadlines), is utter bullshit. University was a place to be challenged, to challenge others, try new things, be young, stupid and have no clue what you’re doing…but to try and fail, and fail to succeed. And maybe, in between all those times, strip down to your underwear and roll around in some slush. Who the fuck knows?

Instead, image has become everything. It has become more important than the students who attend these schools. It has become more about Sheldon Levy and is aversion to sexy, naked college students and his worry about protecting a useless, old image that doesn’t really fucking matter when it comes down to the future of our young men and women. University is about taking risks, being wrong, and getting offended as all fuck. It is sad to see that the institutions themselves don’t care enough, or love enough to be able to take just as many risks for their students.

And if any University students happen to be reading this, and you really love your University of College…then get naked. Strip right on down to your underwear…or maybe more…and get your friends, your fellow students…hell, your whole department…to do it too. You don’t even have to be as crazy as an engineering student and crawl through the slush. Just bare it for the love of youth, freedom and that your future is yours. Not that of motherfucking Sheldon Levy, or whoever else thinks you don’t belong in your University because you find it fun to strip now and then. And please, when everything is organized and ready…invite me!

“Anyone who contends it is ‘just fun’ or ‘builds community’ has no place at my blog.”

Can everyone just pipe the fuck down?

All pipe jokes aside right now, I am pretty fucking steamed. You know how you can tell? Because I’ve been so incredibly lazy that with all the important, interesting, and highly controversial events happening in the world over the past few months, I’ve haven’t blogged a single thing about any of it…even though a lot of it pissed me righteously off. For those enough lucky (or unlucky enough…yeah, I’m going to go with that) to have my stupid account on Facebook under their “friends” list, you’ve been blessed with the joy of seeing my bitchy “one hundred or less” word rants about various topics via Facebook status updates. Now, I could have turned those into blog entries about the subject here on my Tumblr, but I felt I had more important things to do (such as Christopher Columbus-ing the vast world of Minecraft on my Xbox360, scouring the internet for obscure eighties Glam Rock to add to my iPod…and ultimately, jerking off).   

I mean, for fuck sakes…my last entry was a passionate, orgy of curse-words rant about the highly intellectual, life-or-death issue of…junk food in Ontario High Schools. Yup, I deal with only the more hardcore topics on this blog people. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of kitchen, motherfuckers (or in this case, the deep frier. Yes, another thing my blog deals in is poor, badly worded puns and humor that is flatter than a diet Coke left out on the front porch in the hot sun all day. Oh, and apparently, I also deal in bad similes.)

Anyway, my point-which I usually struggle getting to-is that even with all the shit going down (i.e. Joe Biden being a dip-shit about violent video games, Kim Jong-Un being a dip-shit with nukes, Pete Townshend being a dip-shit to children, and Canadian politics being dip-shits to…um…well, just being dip-shits in general), I was pretty pissy about a lot of stuff…but I didn’t get off my to come here and blog about it for whoever may read it (which, at this point, probably won’t be anyone, because if they’re smart they left after the first paragraph. If you’re still reading this, thank you for being stupid enough to stick around). So yeah, just because I am here right now, means I must be pretty worked up about something. I also thought it would be the prefect opportunity to give my humble little excuse for a blog-thing a bit of a reboot. And what better way to do so than to start with a new, weekly feature. Maybe it will get me some more readers, help me want to blog more often, on a regular basis, or make me look like a total douchebag. Actually, wait…the latter is already pretty true. Whatever, you can’t become a douchebag twice, right? Or was it “you can’t catch herpes twice?” I don’t fucking know. So without further ado, I present to you the newest feature of the Daily Nightly blog: 

(Drum-roll Please)

THE WEEKLY “CONGRATULATIONS: YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT” AWARD!”

Each week, I will blog about someone or something who deserves said award and why I believe they do. I would also like to point out, that the strongest contender for this award was actually myself, but you know, I um…didn’t want to…um…present MYSELF with my own award. Wouldn’t that seem just a little too self centered? Yes, I believe giving people an award that deems them to be a fucking idiot is the much more mature, humble way to go with this. But that’s just how I am…a very classy guy.

So, getting back to my earlier pipe related jokes…I’d like to present the first CYAAFI award to TVOntario and the David Suzuki Foundation! Due in part to their involvement with a new video game that is hosted on the TVOntario website, creatively entitled Pipe Trouble. 

Recently, the construction of the Keystone XL Pipeline has been a hot topic in the news and with apparent “environmental advocacy” groups, the latter of which claim that the pipeline that transports oil across North America from the Canadian province of Albert would be a natural disaster waiting to happen. Terrible leaks, explosions, health issues and destruction of forests and land are what the environmental groups claim will happen if this pipeline comes to fruition. Of course, they don’t seem to care that the project would create jobs, reduce expensive imports somewhat, and safe time, money and even pollution by not having to truck the oil all over the place. It would be a well needed boost to our economy in a time we all need anything positive like that.

Honestly, I could see what gets environmental groups a little bit antsy over the idea. As friends have pointed out to me, there has been pipeline issues before with environmental implications before. While they weren’t major enough to garner large amounts of attention, they did happen and did need to be attended to. But, unfortunately, this is progress. Anything at all that is human-made is subjected to some sort of screw-up at some point. These mistakes are vital as well, because from them, we can learn to do things better and more efficiently. The Keystone XL Pipeline goes through many different types of rigorous environmental checks by legitimate environmental organizations that aren’t up their own ass with self-political interest. They are concerned about progress and making things work, not garnering enough political support to do things they way THEY see fit. 

But I’m going to leave the pro-pipeline VS pro-environmental Nazism argument aside for a little bit, because I’d like to explore a point that’s got me even more weirded out and left in disbelief over the whole issue. The video game Pipe Trouble that I mentioned earlier.

As a game, Pipe Trouble is pretty lame. As a semi-hardcore gamer who is way bug-nutty passionate about gaming in general, I’d like to think I know a little something about gaming to spot a mediocre, lack-luster effort when I see it. And this is Pipe Trouble in a nutshell. You play an aging Mr. Suit-And-Tie guy who is hell bent on getting his jollies from building a pipeline through farmlands, residential areas, and pristine wooded area where Bambi frolics. Okay, so I made up the Bambi part. But I am sure by now you’ve gotten the general idea that I’m a sarcastic asshole. On the other side of the screen is some bearded environmentalist, post hippie dude who gets his jollies on watching your pipeline fail…not to mention has horrible tastes in fashion. Ugh, I mean come on. The Nineteen-Thirties called, and they want those suspenders back. Anyways, the as the game progresses and you try to build your pipeline, the thing sprouts leaks, destroys forests, pisses off bearded hippie dude, and even gets blown up by environmental activists who attack your pipeline. Seriously?

But this isn’t some video game review. I’m not mad that someone put this crap on the internet and considered it a video game (although I could probably fill another blog about that too). The weird part in all this is the fact that not only is the game hosted on a government website, TVOntario, the game was developed using taxpayers money. Yes. No matter what you feel about Keystone, we all payed a little bit for the development of a game that was highly anti-Keystone in its sentiments. All backed by our government. And it doesn’t stop there. Where does our beloved “we-don’t-live-in-a-democracy” David Suzuki fit into all of this? Well, it just so happened that this game which was developed with taxpayers money and released with heavy support from the government was also released as a downloadable (but not free) app for iPod, iPhone & iPad. So if you liked this shitty game enough, you could pay money to download it and play it on the go. And where did that money go? That’s right…to the David Suzuki foundation. I kid you not.

As I said before, I can see where environmental concerns play into the development of the pipeline and I understand that. People have the right to know if they are concerned. But what I find most troubling about the whole issue would have to be how very political it has become, not to mention how political the environmentalist movement has become as well.

Despite my curse-word ridden, immature insulting spewing blogging style (to put it lightly), I’d be more than happy to listen to the people who side with the bearded environmentalist dude in the game. The problem is they use of much government leverage that their ideas become threats to our freedom…that one day their ideas may be implemented by the force of the state. And getting free money from the government via tax payers to create a slanted piece of propaganda which YOU can PERSONALLY use to line your OWN pockets with money makes me shudder even more. One of the wonderful things about our society is our marketplace of ideas. We should argue fervently about what we believe is right, proselytize our beliefs until we are blue in the face, but we should never use our government as a tool to quash the viewpoints of another side with their leverage. Government leverage is a absolute. I’d rather have the freedom to blog here, and call those environmentalist assholes with really bad suspenders, totally fucking backwards rather than have my government think it for me. And when the government starts thinking this way, usually they apply their leverage to shut one side up, using taxpayers money to fit the bill…making us all pay for something we may or may not agree with.

And I’m actually going to take this one step further. Ha, did you think I was done? Does anyone happen to see a painful irony in all of this? I’m pretty sure my fellow gamers must.

After the terrible shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in the States, governments across North America were getting pretty cozy with the idea that violent media, namely video games, were to blame for the shootings. Since then, video games have been a subject of contempt for the government, and in several situations they have been very quick to attack them. In fact the Ontario government itself has stated several times “media violence was a priority,” and has a history of trying to relate violence in childhood to violent video games (without much success of course).

Okay, so you all with me so far? Violent video games bad according to Ontario government. SO THEN WHY THE FLYING FUCK WOULD YOU HOST ON THE GOVERNMENT FUNDED TVONTARIO WEBSITE A VIDEOGAME WHERE YOU BLOW SHIT UP?!?! I mean for fuck sakes…sabotaging a pipeline with explosives is pretty much a depiction of a terrorist act. Personally, I don’t care…but it isn’t hard to imagine how someone may consider the game to be violent and contain some pretty nasty violent scenes depicting terrorist attacks. Personally, I strongly believe video games do not lead to any sort of violence in children. But in their ultimate wisdom, the motherfucking Ontario Government fucking does! They’ve stated it over and over. WHY THEN DO THEY FUCKING HOST A VIOLENT VIDEO GAME ON ONE OF THEIR WEBSITES?! FUCK! The hypocrisy, misuse of taxpayer money and David Suzuki making money off all of this has earned TVOntario and the David Suzuki Foundation my “You Are a Fucking Idiot” award! Well done guys! 

Just please stop running to the government like the tattle-tale kid in the school yard, just because you are too fucking lazy to get the point across on your own. I don’t need any government help to say “fuck you!” and you shouldn’t either.

*******UPDATE******** While I did want to provide a link to the game in my blog, TVOntario has since pulled the game from its website. I applaud them for this move, I’m glad someone realized that hosting it was probably a bad idea. Now can they refund the money that we payed into it?

“The more you disrespect my land, the more things will heat up!”

You know, it’s kind of sad that is has come to this, but I was really happy to finally see students taking a stand by trying to get back their basic right to put whatever you want into your own body back from mentally challenged “junk food lobbyists.” In an effort fueled by political overbearingness and general special interest bullshit, the province of Ontario has been making an effort to “ban” what they deem to be junk food in educational institutions and the high school and elementary school levels. And this isn’t only a Canadian issue. There have been many similar moves played by the United States government as well, all in hopes that our children won’t grow up to be overweight, unhealthy, pop-guzzling, fast food whores. Apparently, if we let children taste the forbidden anti-fruit of burgers, soft drinks and maybe the odd taquito, a general disregard for ones health will flourish while things like self-restraint, self worth and the basic idea of body function will go right out the window…all in another desperate attempt to get one of those little baked apple pies for dessert. Oh, the horror of it all.

Banning junk food in school isn’t the newest of ideas on how the government can take control of every day normal aspects of your personal life, as the idea of limiting what children can eat in school has been gaining a lot of popularity over the past decade. It is however, one of the more outrageous ones. From schools removing vending machines to lunch monitors confiscating potato chips that were packed by parents in their children’s lunches, I couldn’t help but be thoroughly disgusted by these strong arm tactics employed by those who have some of the strongest influences in the future of our children. But for me, shit really hit the fan when Ontario school boards announced that by 2011, all public schools would be junk food free, that including: chips, chocolate and coffee as well as a whole bunch of other shit that’s cheap and tastes really fucking good. 

Enter Samuel Battista and Brian Baah of St. Thomas Aquinas Secondary School in Brampton, Ontario. After the proposed junk food ban went into play, these two students noticed a huge decline in the number of people who would use the cafeteria at lunchtime. And while complaining about school meals is probably a normal part of any high school student’s experience, a sudden massive drop in sales was a little bit of a cause for alarm. Battista and Baah both knew that a loss in sales at the cafeteria could lead to other problems. A lot of revenue and cost subsidies are made in part thanks to money that is collected from sales of school food. I remember during my high school years that our graduating class held a bake sale and BBQ to help raise money for a trip to Europe, which for some people is a once in a lifetime experience. Under the current provincial government of Dalton “I-can-decide-what-your-children-eat” McGuinty, cookies, brownies, sweets, hot dogs, fries and hamburgers (pretty much what you’d expect to fucking find at a normal bake sale or BBQ), couldn’t be served. When trying to raise money, bake sales and BBQs are popular choices, because the things that are available at each of those events are an easy sell. It is much harder to get people excited about apples and lettuce, not to mention that fresh produce is a lot more expensive to buy and therefore much harder to make a profit off of. If the same law that is in place now would have been in place when my class was trying to make money for Europe, who knows if the costs of the trip could have been subsidized enough. Who knows how many people would have missed out on an amazing trip. And with this freedom killing, bullshit law in place now, who knows how many extra-curricular experiences students will be missing out on in the future thanks to control freak Dalton here.

So naturally, as high school students themselves, these issues concerned Battista and Baah. Not to mention the fact that they’re 18 or almost 18, and are not comfortable with some dopey looking middle aged weirdo named McGuinty deciding their meals for them. So with that idea in mind, they set out to make their voices heard and fight back against the junk food banning motion that was passed. Using social networking and YouTube to make a video surrounding the issue, they created a very strong and relevant counter-argument of the issue at hand in one of the best possible ways: talking to the people it directly affected. Doing their homework, they showed how much revenue not only their school would lose out on, but how the Ontario School Board was already out a whopping $700,000 due to students who just didn’t want to trade in their snacks for what someone else considered to be better for them. They also pointed out how taking away personal freedoms, such as the freedom of choice, isn’t the right way to enforce any type of idea, even one dealing with national health issues. And the fact that dietary choices start in the home, long before children ever go to school. And just in case someone wants to label them as teenagers talking out of their asses: consider this. Research is on their side. Months before the students ever took their protest to the public level on YouTube, a study was released showing that the junk food served in schools had nothing to do with obesity in young people whatsoever. And what’s more, I thought I would include this interesting little snip-it from the news article covering the study where one of the researchers pretty much puts their foot in their mouth:

“A study published in the January issue of Sociology of Education suggests that the increasing percentage of obese middle school children in the United States has nothing to do with junk food available for purchase at school.

The researchers themselves could hardly believe their own findings. 

“We were really surprised by that result and, in fact, we held back from publishing our study for roughly two years because we kept looking for a connection that just wasn’t there,” said professor Jennifer Van Hook of Pennsylvania State University, lead author of the study.”

What the fucking fuck?! You call yourself a researcher but you fucking HELD BACK DATA FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS BECAUSE IT DIDN’T TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?! That isn’t research, that’s being a fucking self centered asshole. I think the problem is, Jennifer Van Hook hates junk food so passionately that she WANTED to make it look as bad as possible. Well, here’s an idea. JUST SAY YOU HATE JUNK FOOD! Complain about it just as much as I’m fucking complaining about you! Make YouTube videos of how evil it is. Write a fucking book about it. Until then, shove a cucumber up your ass and stay out of other people’s lives! Not only does this show an extreme lack of professionalism, but is also creates another worry as to how much bias there is towards junk food in our society right now. And it is this bias, making decisions without fully understanding what is going on yet, that hurts us all in the long run, and gets over zealous assholes like Dalton McGuinty making decisions for us like he is our own mother.

All the research aside though, it is obvious these high school students were on to something. So how did the Education minister respond when their video started gaining a lot of hits on YouTube and a lot of media attention? They just decided to ignore them. I fucking kid you not. Ontario Education minister Laurel Broten (and cunt extraordinaire), pretty much stuck her head in the sand when it came to talks about the video made by students, claiming it was her duty to make sure students had the appropriate nutrition available to them to succeed, which in her mind is the same for every single student in Ontario and must be pre approved by the government. Honestly? What the fuck are you talking about Broten? Nothing is more un-Canadian than saying “it is our job to make sure we provide you with what you can eat, so long as the government is okay with it.” Do that with your own children, Broten. Not with myself, other people’s families or the inhabitants of a free country which has been made so great BECAUSE of personal choice…bitch.

Students like Samuel Battista and Brian Baah are our future. Because of that, I have the highest hope and regards for them. They need to grow by making their own choices, experiencing their own path through life. Now is not the time to be taking choice out of their life. If Battista and Baah are part of the new generation that the McGuinty government is trying to paint as uncontrollable junk food consuming pigs, then fuck you McGuinty and Broten. All those hamburgers and french fries must be doing something good, because at 18, they are already far more intelligent than you are. They represent what being a true Canadian is all about, because even if they were dying from a McDonalds overdose, they would still be right. Why? Because they are defending personal freedom. Something McGuinty and Broten are too fucking stupid to realize the importance of.

I should end my annoying, whiny bitching here, but I think it would be better to close with the words of Brian Baah, as the best I can do is sit here and complain on my blog. Baah took a stand, made his voice heard, and is forever a better person than I could ever be for doing so. Take it away Brian:

“They are basically telling us that students are inadequate and we can’t make these kind of decisions for themselves. But it seems kind of ironic to me that at 18, I can sign up to be part of the Canadian military but I can’t choose if I want a chocolate bar.”

Amen my friend.

_______________________________________________________________________

If you would like to show your support for the cause, follow the official twitter: @Students_Choose and tweet with #OurFuture

Or, like this page on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/StudentChoiceOurFuture

Normally, I don’t talk about gaming on my Tumblr, despite the fact that I enjoy playing video games. Some people love to blog about what they really enjoy, and that’s fine. I could have easily made a Tumblr about gaming reviews, or collection or anything. And for the people that do, that’s awesome. I love reading your stuff on Tumblr about video game and gaming culture. I don’t, however, really focus on that myself because I’d much rather bitch about stuff that pisses me the fuck off. In fact, most people who blog do just that at one point or another, because, lets face it. If everyone only blogged about stuff they really enjoyed then most blogs would talk about jerking off. 

I don’t really try to focus on personal hobbies or interests because I try to look at things from a human perspective, not a human gamer perspective or a human prostitute perspective or whatever the fuck else you’re into. In fact, I’m a dickface for just saying that because it doesn’t really matter. If you DO blog from the point of view as a gamer, then MORE power to you. Nothing makes me get more of a hard-on (except big tits) than seeing people follow what they love so much that they get all bugnutty and shit flippin’ over it. All the same, nothing makes me more bugnutty and shit flippin’ pissy than seeing someone get passionate about something, and then think EVERYONE HAS TO FEEL THE SAME FUCKING WAY AS THEY DO!  Which brings me to my point. PETA. They’re known for some of their highly publicized stunts to gain support for their cause of “ethical” animal treatment. In short, they’re known for going to far and being belligerent assholes. They’ve slammed and criticized everything from eating steak to dolphin hunting. What does this have to do with video games, you ask? That’s right. They fucking went there. They’re going to force me to discuss video games, because now PETA is after Super Mario. But this is my blog. And I just happen to be all bugnutty and shit flippin’ over Nintendo. Fuck the dolphins, and all those other little creatures. When you have a beef with Super Mario, and I get wind of it…some shit is going to be going down, bitches! 

At first glance, I totally agree with PETA. Or at least what their names states. PEOPLE (I’m a people, so check) for the ETHICAL (I like ethical stuff, it’s sexy) of ANIMALS (yup, I love to see animals being treated ethically. And my favorite beef is veal. No joke!). The only real issue is, the correct acronym would be PFTETOF, but you can’t really say that without sounding like you’re trying to learn Swedish or something. The problem with that arises when you can’t escape the fact that what is ethical to some may not be ethical to others. Ethics can be debated, and when it comes to animals like cows, chickens and ducks, the same idea applies. As I just said before, I love eating meat. If someone gives me a plate of juicy veal, I’m probably going to ask for seconds. And yes, I am still for the ethical treatment of animals as I see it. I think we’re doing plenty to treat our farm animals right, and who the fuck knows if I’m right, but I feel good about it. The person next to me may be disgusted with the idea of eating a cow, especially a cute little baby one. They may feel that not killing animals for food is the only way they will ever be treated ethically, and who the fuck knows if HE’S right, but it makes him feel good too. The thing is, Mr. I-don’t-want-to-eat-cow has the choice to say no. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it. We’re not children. I’m not going to shove it in his face. Why then should he have the freedom of choice, yet PETA must insist eating all animals must stop for EVERYONE. What the fuck? If you don’t like the food, then get out of the kitchen! Just don’t make the kitchen illegal…

So why does PETA hate Super Mario, the jolliest, friendliest looking good guy super hero there is? Apparently because he promotes wearing animal fur thanks to his Tanooki Suit, or “raccoon dog” power-up that gives him the ability to fly and whip enemies with his raccoon tail during the game. One of the newest Super Mario games to come out, Super Mario 3D Land, prominently features this power-up. And I guess that really got PETA in a tizzy. They even made their own twisted flash game of Mario, where you play as a bloody, skinless raccoon trying to get his tail back from Mario himself. 

Back in the early 90s, Mario’s Tanooki power was also a major part of the gameplay in Super Mario Bros. 3, which is still one of my favorite games today. When I was a kid, I thought that the Tanooki Suit was pretty fucking cool. I mean, Santa has his whole flying reindeer thing, so a flying raccoon seemed pretty legit too. But despite all the hours I spent mastering that game, I never once made the connection to the industry of using animals for our clothing. Nintendo released an official statement regarding the PETA accusations which I thinks sums up the whole issue the best:

Mario often takes the appearance of certain animals and objects in his games. These have included a frog, a penguin, a balloon and even a metallic version of himself. These lighthearted and whimsical transformations give Mario different abilities and make his games fun to play.

The different forms that Mario takes make no statement beyond the games themselves.

Well, NO FUCKING SHIT! You’d think that whole idea would be pretty obvious by now, but apparently these PETA fucktards still don’t understand. Or more likely, they just don’t want to understand. Firstly, I’m pretty sure playing Super Mario doesn’t make people want to wear raccoon skin clothing. I mean, nobody I’ve ever met who has played that game (or did when they were a young, impressionable child) has ever wanted to or grown up to want to wear raccoon clothing. PETA should have more of an issue with fucking Davy Crockett. Also just the idea that playing a video game where a man is wearing a body suit made out of a raccoon will suddenly make people want to buy fur is crazy. Saying video games will make you want to do anything is crazy, and you can read my rant on that here. And have these people ever even played Mario? He was jumping on turtles way before he was wearing animal fur. He was throwing fireballs at fish, killing birds and flowers. What a fucking rebel. But the Tanooki thing? Oh shit, sound the alarm. That was just way to fucking far! 

Then again, it could be that PETA just hates video games in general. And that is most likely the answer considering they care MUCH more about cheap political stunts rather than actually finding the best way to ethically treat animals without being neo-nazi, inbred, sucking-cock-for-coke assholes about everything they do.  See, PETA also got all up in arms about the popular game Battlefield 3 recently as well, because the game let you kill virtual rats. Just like with the Mario game causing people to want to wear fur, PETA was worried that this game would make people want to go out and knife rats. Jesus the fucking Jew. The game lets you kill virtual people too, and it was very popular. By the same account, the world should be full of millions of mass murderers. It isn’t by the way. Oh! Wait! I get it…PETA didn’t get the memo. They’re still unable to tell the difference between fantasy and reality! Something we all learn when we’re children. Or maybe they’re so quick to shit all over other people’s fantasy fun because their living in a fantasy world themselves. 

No one likes death. No one likes to see animals being killed, unless you’re some sort of sick fuck. In theory, we all support the ethical treatment of animals. Animals are cute, and human compassion is a beautiful thing. When both are combined we hear some very heartwarming stories. People saving stray dogs who were left to die, and finding safe homes for them. People (like myself) buying synthetic fur instead of the real deal. The problem is, PETA ropes in good people with good intentions by personifying animals. Animals are animals because they are slaves to their instincts. While they can feel things like fear and happiness, it is a MUCH, MUCH more basic level than what we feel. Some animals, especially domesticated ones like dogs and cats show these emotions better than other animals, but the hard reality is even when it comes to Fido, he is pretty happy you’re around because you feed him and walk him. It doesn’t go too much further than that. And that isn’t any reason to stop loving your pets. That’s not the point I’m trying to make here.  The point is, STOP FUCKING TAKING ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE’S GOOD NATURE by leading them to make knee-jerk reactions based only on emotional response. And for everyone else, really do your homework before you decide on who you’re going to fork over your money and time to. Those who are actually concerned about animal welfare don’t need to attack things that have nothing to do with animal cruelty just to get attention. 

Since just the other day, my Facebook and Twitter feeds have been exploding with posts about unbridled evil that is Joseph Kony, some douche-bag who apparently abducts children in Uganda and forces the boys to become slaves in his “child army” while he turns the girls into sex slaves and prostitutes. His army is called the Lord’s Resistance Army, and they basically go around Uganda forcing their extreme religious beliefs down everyone’s throat by the way of violence, rape murder and even cannibalism. Yeah I know, what a dick, right? But why all the sudden attention towards Kony and his child armies? I mean, the issue of child soldiers has been a serious problem plaguing developing countries for quite some time. Enter The Invisible Children charity, their head Jedediah Jenkins and two-bit film maker Jason Russell, and suddenly all the “socially conscious” young people in social networking realm are going kooky for Kony. 

Don’t get me wrong, Kony doesn’t sound like the type of person I’d approve to have running around Uganda freely doing whatever he pleases. Considering his track record, Kony is a pretty scummy. If you’re going to make a video outlining how scummy one creepy, religious nutbar is, then I couldn’t find much fault with it. The problem is, The Invisible Children charity and their asshole director extraordinaire Jason Russell are taking it upon themselves to over simplify a situation in order to get plenty of attention and a nice cheque. And who doesn’t like money or attention? It just kind of sucks when you have to distort reality surrounding some very real scary shit in order to gain that money and attention. Motherfuckers. 

On the surface, the Invisible Children idea seems like a great idea. Make this Joseph Kony guy as famous as someone like George Cloony, and then everyone will know him. And because everyone will know him, there will be more pressure to hang his ass from a tree. What do we need to make his happen? Your money! Whoops, I suddenly don’t like this idea that much anymore, because:

1) I’m a greedy motherfucker who gets a huge kick out of spending money on myself and people I’m close to, 

and 

2) If I do give my money to someone, and it isn’t in exchange for a product or service, than I better be damn sure I know exactly what’s going to happen to that money. 

Sadly, the Invisible Children charity fails on both qualifications. I’m not directly related to that dickweed Jason Russell or anyone else at Invisible Children, thus, I won’t enjoy giving them any of my money. Also, it’s very unclear as to exactly what they’re planning on doing with your money…something else that doesn’t sit well with me. 

How Invisible Children spends your money isn’t the only thing Russell’s shitty 30 minute piece of bullshit propaganda is flakey with. For a film that has to do with the apparent suffering of children in Uganda at the hands of this Kony jerk-off, Russell manages to fill it with enough pointless, over-dramatization to make you want to puke. Yeah, I know, it’s touching to see the birth of his child, how he went over to Africa and lived with the people there…blah, blah blah. The cold reality of the matter is, that FUCKING DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE POINT YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE AGAINST KONY! If I wanted to make a valid point about anything, but first had to talk about my son and what I’ve been doing all my life up until this point, that makes me look like a fucking pussy with a weak point that I can’t properly defend. If real issues are real issues, then they don’t need over-dramatization. Everyone knows children are abused, that there is famine, poverty and war at a much higher occurrence in less developed countries than there is here at home in North America. The reason people don’t dwell on it here is because we have it lucky. And we know we have it lucky. Why waste our luck and good fortune butt-fucking ourselves with guilt when we could instead go out, enjoy our clean drinking water, overstock of food and flush toilets. Jason Russell’s shitty bummer of a point can’t seem to be heard over the sound of our personal freedoms, so like any lame ass charity without a good cause behind it, Invisible Children went the “lets yank on people’s heart-strings” route by filling their filmed plea for your money with sappy music, sad images but seemed to leave out any logical fact. I’ve viewed the Jason Russell film a few times already for the purpose of writing this, and I’d be more than happy to boil it down for you:

1) Invisible Children wants you to sign some bullshit pledge (probably their version of a contract) 

2) Get the Kony 2012 bracelet action kit (only $30! Because if all those troops that are out looking for him don’t kill him, our sense of good fashion will!)

3) Sign up to donate (of course)! 

In terms of raising a suitable amount of money, this plan sounds great. When you try to remember than this is about getting some bugnutty asshole out of the jungle, the plan sounds a lot less proactive. Like I said before, Invisible Children are a little vague when it comes to stating exactly why it is they need you to donate. In the film, Russell quickly alludes to the need for donations because they want to keep American troops stationed in the country, on the lookout for Kony. Great! Maybe the donated money will go to the military and help subsidize the cost of keeping American soldiers overseas? Actually…not really. A few years back, Obama agreed to send troops to Uganda to help try and arrest Kony and charge him with being a dickhead. The efforts are still ongoing. In other words, OBAMA NEVER SAID HE’S PULLING THE TROOPS OUT OF UGANDA! Why then does Jason Russell claim we need to fork over our hard earned cash to help soldiers stay in the country when no one ever said they were leaving!! What the fucking fuck!?!?

Oh, and it gets a hell of a lot weirder than that. Those at Invisible Children left out a very important detail in their film. Joseph Kony is not longer in Uganda. I kid you not. In an excellent post on the website Foreign Policy by a journalist who has worked extensively in Uganda and surrounding areas, Kony’s joke of an army “The Lord’s Resistance“ has been smashed by the local Ugandan army, to the point where they now dwindle in numbers that rage only in the hundreds. The video showed a map with a red blob on it, showing where The Lord’s Army has apparently spread to, making it look like they were growing in numbers, while in reality they have had to flee to surrounding areas to avoid getting totally wiped out. The reason why it is currently so hard to find Joseph Kony or any of the LRA at this point, is because there is hardly any of them left. Not to mention they are spread out over miles of dense jungle. And with soldiers already on the lookout for them, I doubt they’ll want to come out of hiding any time soon. Yeah, they sound real scary to me. Not only that, but there is an actual uproar in Uganda over the video since it has been released. Apparently, they’re not too happy about how their country has been misrepresented, considering they are now in peace time and trying to rebuild. 

The website Charity Navigation, which rates charities based on their financial standings as well as their accountability & transparency (basically, letting you know what they do with your money and how exactly they operate), gave Invisible Children a 3 out of 4 star ranking on their website. Not too shabby, right? The reason the rating was so high was because while they had a very high rating for the financial standing. A breakdown of the ratings showed that they only received a two star rating for their accountability and transparency. So essentially, they’re taking in a lot of money and not being very clear on what they spend it on. YOU DON’T SAY!? 

So what the fucking is Invisible Children raising money for other than themselves? I have no fucking clue. It’s funny how we get an email from some Ugandan Prince in our inbox, pleading for our help and asking us to make a small investment on which he promises a big return, and we all know it right away as a scam. Yet, the minute a video with high production values is released to social networks about sending money to stop crazy guy in Uganda, our response is SEND ALL THE MONEY! 

Now, anyone who reads this could easily accuse me of being some compassionless asshole with no heart. And honestly, what do I know? I probably sound like one. But I don’t think that hijacking people’s emotional response to something is fair. People love doing the right thing, because people are good. And sometimes, they get so caught up in doing the right thing, they will give away their time and money because they firmly believe that they are doing good…even if in reality they may just be benefiting some assholes who are taking advantage of the good nature of human beings. Human compassion is one of the most beautiful things about being alive. The fact that we can show compassion and support, love and understanding, to our fellow humans separates us from the wild animals, gives our life meaning and makes us stronger. I’m not trying to say all charities are bad. There are many out there who do good things and have amazing intentions. But there are always those few assholes who will take advantage of those who want to feel like they can make a real difference, even if it is for a fictitious threat. Others may argue that this video, even in being fake, at least sheds light on a very real issue of child armies and war barons. Perhaps, but it also takes the wrong stance. Juxtaposing images of Kony with Hitler and saying that his capture will solve the problem gives people false hopes. The fucktards that are running Invisible Children apparently know so much, that they know how to solve a major problem. But they don’t. And the sad thing is, that right now, no one does. We just don’t. If everyone in the world had the same luxuries as you and I do right now, to sit at a computer, whine our asses off, have a fridge full of food, etc. then the world couldn’t support it. We’d be out of resources and room before you know it. However, as humans we all should have the basic right to food, a place to live and access to education to be able to say and do what we want in our own way. Who do we decided to not grant that access to if the world can’t support that yet. Right now, we just can’t answer that question. Getting rid of Kony would help, but it wouldn’t solve the problem. Some other dick would replace him over night. It’s just the sad reality in that part of the world.

 I do have to hand it to them, Invisible Children did respond to their critics. The best they could offer however was to call the accusations “myopic.” Fuck you! At least back it up with something other than saying how you’ll show everyone.  You sound like a 5  year old who has been caught lying. 

There is plenty of good people wanting to do good. But stopping and being critical can be just as good as having great intentions. Never be afraid to question what you see. Kony should be stopped. I do not disagree with this. Lets just make sure we do it for the right reasons, with the right people. And if life ever gets you down with all the depressing stuff that happens out there, here is another video you can watch online that my girlfriend brought to my attention the other night. It is way better than that load of crap Jason Russell put together. And best of all, it’s only 3 minutes instead of 30. 

Also, if this topic interests you and you’d like to stay on top of it, then check out and follow Visible Children, a fellow Tumblr blogger who is dedicated to taking a critical look at the Kony2012 movement. Thanks for reading. 

As usual, I can’t think of a more graceful or well educated way to say this, so I’ll just quit whining and say it. High school fucking sucks. For pretty much most of us. At one time or another. It’s just one of life’s unfortunate realities. There is still war and famine, Justin Bieber is still making music, and high school is fucking awful. And I’m not blaming high schools per-say, as if I’d prefer our youth to skip the whole experience and lose out on the education aspect. That’s not the point I’m trying to make. No, high school is just a shitty fucking experience in general. You spend six hours of your day surrounded by people who you probably don’t like all that much and will never see again after you graduate, get crammed with a confusing load of information just around the time of your life when things are confusing enough on their own with puberty and whatnot. Throw peer pressure and the occasional asshole teacher into the mix, and you’ve got a pretty decent recipe for disaster.

For 17 year old student Paul Gomille at Denis O’Connor Catholic High School in Ajax, Ontario, the overall shit fest of high school was made even more unpleasant, not by bullies, failing a class or even those raging teenage hormones, but instead, at the hands of the school faculty themselves. Being hated on by your fellow students is one thing, but man, being hated on by the people that run the show just isn’t cool. On Valentines day, Paul was ordered to serve an at home suspension for two days. The crime? Paul had written his own Valentine’s day love letter, not to one person, but to the whole school, which he printed off 136 copies of and handed out to students in the cafeteria. Now, one would think that the letter would have to be pretty sleazy in order to warrant a suspension from the school property. You know, like somehow he decided to hand out these notes like a creative booty call, saying how he’d love someone to keep him warm between the sheets on February 14th, so he wouldn’t have to be all alone, and those who received the letter could reply to the question: “My place or yours?” (Actually, that sounds like a good idea. So anyone who reads this, no stealing. But if you do try it out, tell me how it works!) This wasn’t the case. In fact, the letter Paul wrote was something he’d been wanting to get off his chest for a long while. It was about him expressing his ideas about how beauty should be something that comes mainly from within.

…what the fuck? That merrits getting your ass kicked out of school? What suspension happy-assed bitch served him that crappy deal? Apparently it was none other than Denis O’Connor High’s own Donna Modeste. Well, her and whatever she had up her ass that day. Modeste claimed that the letter was not only “judgemental” but when she suspended Gomille, she cited his “opposition to authority.” Well wham bam, thank you ma’am! I hope you continue your excellent work in the field of education, suspending students who dare oppose your twisted authority by expressing themselves through non-violent protest and the proper use of the English language, you dumb cunt.

In fact, Paul Gomille wasn’t really protesting anything. He just wanted to get his point across on something he considered important and dear to him in a society and institution where free speech is promoted and celebrated. Paul was simply exercising that right in a very appropriate way. He didn’t force people to read the letter he wrote, and if for some reason it did bother a student, they could have very easily have ignored it or thrown it away and gone on with their day. We’re talking about 16 and 17 year olds, not pre-schoolers. Maybe that’s the problem. The folks that run Denis O’Connor High feel that it’s a pre-school. I don’t fucking know. But enough of my smart ass chatter, I’ll let you all read the letter for yourself as it was published in the Toronto Star. The part of the letter that is highlighted in BOLD is what the school found to be “judgemental.”

PAUL GOMILLE’S LETTER TO YOUNG WOMEN

“Could I please have your attention for a few moments? I guarantee you won’t regret listening to what I have to say. You definitely won’t regret hearing this in your life time, especially from a man of dignity. It’s an idea that I have held close to my heart even before the kilt controversy arose in the media. This message is not meant to address the kilt controversy directly by any means, but rather, this message is a general and all-encompassing statement. It is a message about the qualities that really matter in a woman, and what really makes a woman attractive. Although this speech has some relevance to the way women dress and present themselves nowadays, the message in this speech goes far beyond one’s preferences, or feelings of pressure, as it relates to the way they dress, and it goes far beyond any concept of modernity. It strikes at the very core of humanity itself, in an attempt to make a revelation of truth apparent to all of you, with awe inspiring certainty. If you read this, and receive anything less than a feeling of absolution from it, then I have committed a grave sin, a sin against myself and a sin against all of you.

The people this message concerns are the young women of this school, and of the world. In particular, it concerns the silent ones, the intelligent ones, the ones that don’t talk about people behind their backs, the ones that guys don’t flock to in droves, the ones that don’t dress in revealing clothing, the ones who would love to be in love, and the ones that are continually disappointed in their appearance because the only thing they have to compare themselves to are the women that have been put on pedestals by our society. This message also concerns those of you who may consider yourselves the so called “opposite” to the demographic I just described. The ones who do dress in revealing clothing, and the ones who try to fit in with the crowd.

You don’t need to dress or act a certain way to fit in, to feel attractive, or to BE attractive. You’re all far more attractive than you realize. All of you. But that’s not to say that you should all dress in revealing clothing. No, not at all. Sure, a girl who dresses that way might turn a few heads, and get some compliments. But real attractiveness doesn’t come from wearing the latest fashion, and it doesn’t come from being scantily clad in public, or putting on make-up, or having a pretty face, or a nice body. No. Real attractiveness comes from having a certain dignity. It comes from having class. It comes from being true to yourself, being yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin. This message is for all young women within the sound of my voice and beyond. You’re all beautiful. You all have inner beauty AND outer beauty.”

Now, could somebody find offence with that letter? Yes. Even I can if I try hard enough. What he considers to be intelligent could be different than what I consider to be intelligent. He groups people together, like those who are “silent and don’t talk about people behind their backs,” and treats them like a special case. Is that offensive? Maybe. But you know what? It doesn’t fucking matter. Has every single adult forgotten what being in high school was like? There are those groups of people, whether we want to admit it or not. There was always the silent, shy ones. There was the geeky ones, the assholes who couldn’t keep a secret and talk behind people’s backs. The girl’s who dressed like they worked at strip club, and the ones who would cry if you touched their tits ABOVE the shirt and bra. For fuck sakes, we can ALL look back on our high school days and remember SOMETHING similar. We were all in one of these groups at one point, maybe more than one. That’s part of why high school sucks the worst type of ass, and it’s something everyone just needs to go through. Unless we all give high school students frontal lobotomies, there will constantly be a group of people who don’t like another group or someone who will act like an asshole just because they can. The trick is not trying to prevent it, the trick is trying to teach people how to DEAL with it. And even that isn’t very easy. All I know is that this doesn’t deserve a MOTHER FUCKING SUSPENSION! Everything is offensive to someone at some point, it just can’t be helped. In an amazing country like our own, where we can agree to disagree, piss and moan about whatever we want, as loudly as we want, all day long, people need to get offended. It’s a beautiful thing. And amazing right. Get pissy and complain about the shit that bothers you. People should get offended about all sorts of stuff! Lots of stuff offends me, and if I feel like it, I’ll bitch about it. If I don’t think it’s worth my time, I’ll just ignore it. Am I being selfish? You can bet Donna Modeste’s left nipple I am! As Canadians, it’s our duty to be selfish about the stuff we hold dear in our hearts. Paul Gomille did. He peacefully and respectfully worded his opinions on an issue that was bothering him in a much more intelligent manner than I could ever hope to do (he avoided using four letter words), and such an action should be celebrated or at the very least, tolerated. Not EVER punished. Now, I’m sure Donna Modeste’s job isn’t an easy one. In fact, I’m positive it isn’t. Educators have a very difficult task and are underpaid, making it a true labour of love. For that, I have the utmost respect for them. But Modest failed not only her students, but the education system in general. She got away with teaching a dangerous lesson to our youth: If you peacefully say what you want, you’ll be punished for opposition of authority. Modeste owes Gomille an apology, and the longer she holds out giving him one, the more of a cunt she’s being.

Interestingly enough, Modeste was originally on board with the idea of Paul reading his letter as an announcement to the whole school. According to Paul, she said the idea was “very timely” due to the “kilt controversy” that had also just had Denis O’Connor high in the news as of recent. Something about the girls at the school hiking up their kilts that are part of their school uniforms too high. Personally, I have nothing against high school seniors hiking ANYTHING up, so long as it’s in front of me. Still, the press was bad and I’m sure Modeste had a huge public relations headache in terms of how people were portraying her school. So, she liked where Paul was going. The minute some of the wording made her uncomfortable though, she withdrew her support, and Paul printed the letter anyway, because, face it: not doing something because your principal doesn’t like the way you wrote it is FUCKING STUPID. Let’s get this straight for a moment. According to Modeste, something a student pours his soul into writing is okay, so long as it can help make the school look better, but if it may subtly offend someone, it’s bad? Did she fucking study out of the “How to be a Principal by Kim Jong Il” book or something?

After reading the news reports that describe Gomille as a shy, quite guy who spends his free time playing video games and doesn’t have a girlfriend, I couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride. After all, that pretty much sounded like me in high school. The only thing is, Gomille had the balls to speak his mind, and let everyone know what he felt. This is what seperates Gomille from myself and makes him a million times more of a better human being than I could ever hope to be. If I could say one thing to Paul, it would be to keep fucking people’s shit up. Don’t let your principal ever scare you into feeling like the challenging of authority is something to be ashamed of. I’d also tell him that high school fucking sucks, but don’t worry, it’ll get better.

Funny photo I saw on Facebook today. Sometimes you just can’t help but agree with some of what those Occupy kids were getting all hippie-dippy over.

I wrote this article in spring of last year for an old column I used to do. With more “sexting” cases in the news as of recent, I figured I’d re-post it here. Comments, thoughts and opinions are appreciated!

Being a teen isn’t easy. Nor has it ever been. It can be a complicated, difficult and just plain confusing point in life, where experimenting can be a lot of fun but at the same time the wrong decision can get you into a lot of trouble. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be one of those embarrassingly tedious and P.S.As that take pride in telling us the best way to live our own lives.

All I’m asking you is to really think hard and remember what it was like to be a teenager. For some of us, that may have not been that long ago, for others it may have been quite a while or even currently. The time or place isn’t what matters. Just remember, and keep it in mind.

It doesn’t take an analyst to demonstrate the rapid rate at which technology has been evolving over the past decade. From laptops to net-books, to cellphones and tablets technology has been doing what it has always been: finding ways to become relevant and useful in everyday life. And as always, this technology remains only as good as the people who use it. It is reflective of our own culture and lives in terms of its many good points as well as its many negative points… which brings me to MY point.

In recent years, especially due to the rise in young people’s use of cell phones and picture messaging, the media has been quick to headline the dangers of what has come to be known as “sexting,” or sending sexually charged text or nude photos of ones self to boyfriends, girlfriends or significant others.

In each case, or at least the ones where authorities became involved, and got the attention of news, the situation ends up bad. The most widely known incident would have to be the deeply tragic story of Jesse Logan , who sent nude photos of herself to her boyfriend via cellphone. When they broke up, for whatever reason, he sent the photos to other girls at their high school who taunted her relentlessly, calling her a “slut,” and a “whore,” amongst other colourful names.

Rightfully so, she became afraid to go to school, and two months later after giving an interview on TV so she could speak out about her experiences so they would never happen to others, she hung herself in her bedroom, unable to face the continued torment. She was only eighteen. There are also countless other stories of girls and boys as young as 13 being charged under kiddie porn laws because they either sent or received nude photos of themselves or others to/from their peers.

This whole topic came to my attention once again as of recent when I noticed a story in the New York Times about a 14 year old girl who suffered through a nightmarish chain of similar events involving the authorities when she sent a picture of herself to her boyfriend that had her posing naked in a mirror. After They broke up, he decided to pass it along to several other girls in the school. The pictures spread like wildfire and the girl had no choice but the leave the school from all the taunting.

Okay, so are we still thinking about that it was/is like to be a teenager? With that thought in mind, there is no doubt this is a tragic situation. This girl was treated very, very badly by her peers and her anguish is more than understandable. I read the story two or three times and was left with the same feeling. As bad as this situation was, couldn’t the whole ordeal have been a little less terrible if the authorities had just stayed out of it from the beginning? To treat the whole issue as it it is some dangerous hobby plaguing today’s youth is utterly unjustified. According to statistics, over 20% of teens have admitted to sending text messages of a sexual nature, whether it’s words or pictures (and I’m sure it’s mainly the latter) to boyfriends/girlfriends.

While it’s easy to use those statistics to make young people look pride-less and completely out of control with their sex-drives, that argument doesn’t hold water when you realize that humans love to experiment with technology in a sexual manner. They always have, and rest assured they always will, find new and innovative ways to do it.

Just look at the history of the camera and film. The history of pornography itself can be linked directly to the rise of photography and movies, whether it was legal during the time or not. It was still being done. Even the land-line telephone and growth in popularity of the credit card led to countless phone-sex hotlines.

And who can forget the internet and online pornography, which has grown to the point where I think it’s safe to say that porn makes up over half the internet itself. All we’re faced with now is new technology that is just reflective of an age old issue of human sexuality. But trends and history lessons aside, I fail to see how anything was made better or how any understanding was reached with what happened to this poor fourteen year old girl.

All I can honestly say is that have authorities enter and take complete hold of the situation did not make it any less ugly. In fact, it did very well in doing the opposite. What exactly is being done here by having the police and investigation units called in and scaring the living hell out of this children, other than attracting the hoards of media attention it did? While fourteen is young, teens are not idiots. They may lack the life experiences to help them realize that sending naked photos of yourself could eventually have them get out to other people, but they do not lack the intelligence to learn from mistakes.

The mistakes you make are part of learning and part of being young, and while parents would never want to see their children hurt or upset (and what parent would?), kids will just find other ways of acting out or making an ass of themselves. Self discovery, self growth and learning all come from sometimes making errors in your life. And this is something that can’t just be stopped. Interrogating these young high school students as if they hid the body of a murder victim and threatening them with sentences of community service or worse isn’t the answer to anything in this case, nor will it help anyone come to an understanding about anything.

The problem is, kiddie porn is a crime that is so hated in the United States, that just upon hearing the name of the charge we must lay some sort of punishment somewhere without fully understanding what’s going on. Even in cases where the perpetrator of the said crime is no different from the victim. And that is what’s really shocking here.

Cellphones have become even more popular and even more advanced than when I was in high school (which wasn’t all that long ago). I largely grew up in a time when sexting wasn’t even a term. Either way, the technology included with cells today make it easier to transmit images and text than ever before.

I never had a girlfriend in high school (I was too distracted with being a total nerd to worry about girls), but I know I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if I did, and it was asked of me, I probably would have been sexting naked pictures of myself. Why am I bothering to admit it? Because I can say without a shadow of a doubt that while I might have missed out on the whole girlfriend thing when I was a teenager, I believe many others who could have had that technology available to them during that point in their life would have considered it too.

Even if you don’t have a cellphone or even understand that type of technology, it doesn’t matter. I wasn’t lacking the desire, I was only lacking the technology. It’s easy to have the law get involved where it seems like it might be a good idea, but it’s also not always the best course of action. What happened to that girl is tragic, and very sad. But in the situation of sexting incidents amongst young people, the punishment of the law cannot provide little, if any, valuable experience at a point in one’s life when gaining experience is important. The law is cold, and methodical (traits that DO have their place), but the law hasn’t gone through puberty, the law cannot sympathize. And to rely on it totally in situations that probably make us feel shame because we know we all posses that same desire, and may have even considered doing the same thing at some point, isn’t always just. Leave the punishment, talking and learning to the family, schools and parents. These are the figures that should be stepping in to provide guidance. In this case, the a girl sent naked pictures, the become viral, she is embarrassed in front of her peers, the others see that, and we all learn something. Heavy police investigation and a media storm play little part in that. And they do little to help the girl.

I’m not condoning what happened in any way. In fact, the moral of the story should probably be if you do send naked pictures to someone, make sure it is someone you can trust very well. And realize that they could get out. I’m not saying that teens should or shouldn’t sext each other. And a lot of people can get pretty upset at someone even just taking a stand such as that.

All I know is that given the same situation in my teens, I probably would have sexted pictures of myself. And I don’t even know if I should be saying that…

The death penalty has been outlawed in Canada only since 1976, but the idea of re-opening the debate on bringing the practice back has been thrust into the spotlight several times over the years, most recently with the remarks made by Peirre-Hugues Boisvenau, a Canadian MP who was appointed to the Senate in 2010. Boisvenau made the remarks to national media when he was asked by reporters about the possibility of revisiting the current ban on capital punishment. When the comments sparked outrage from certain groups, Boisvenau made a public apology, claiming he was indeed against the death penalty, except in regards to some of the most heinous criminals who are held in Canadian jails, such as Paul Bernardo and Clifford Olson (who has recently died of cancer) to name a few. 

Before I even feel that I have the right to go on about anything to do with the death penalty, I think it’s important to note Boisvenau’s reasoning behind his original comment. On June 23rd, 2002Boisvenau’s daughter, Julie was out partying with her friends that evening because she had just revived a promotion at work the previous day. When Julie left the bar at 4:00am to return home, she was never seen alive again. Her body was later recovered from a drainage ditch, partially naked. She had been raped and then strangled to death by her killer, who was later tracked down by police.  While Boisvenau is a Conservative MP who I probably disagree with philosophically on many different levels, it is hard for me to have anything less than a very deep amount of respect for him. He knows the whole current system in this country is against what he feels, but he still had the courage to comment on the issue of dangerous criminals knowing how deeply it affected him. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain, suffering and sorrow Boisvenau must have felt at the loss of his beautiful daughter. Such an unfair loss of life, and such a terrible tragedy that no one ever deserves to have thrust upon them. Still having the courage to face and address this issue from the bottom of your heart makes Mr. Boisvenau a stronger person than I can probably ever hope to become. In fact, in a similar situation it would be easy to see how I could agree totally with him. This is because vengeance can feel good. It’s the ultimate end, the ultimate payback. It sounds sexy, absolute and in some cases, relieving. From what glimpses we get of the law and courts through media and newspapers show us that it’s the opposite. The law is cold, slow and methodological. A system as such was put into place with the hope in mind that maybe as a group, we would have the ability to act with better judgement than a few grief stricken individuals would. I’m not going to ignore all the strong arguments for the death penalty. The fact that some people claim that capital punishment is a good deterrent, and will scare people into not committing crimes.  The fact the sometimes the punishment needs to fit the crime, and that it’s efficient and saves us taxpayers money. I’m not in any way choosing to ignore any of these valid ideas. But before you can allow yourself to sit down and defend these principles, you must clear one thing off the table immediately. If you’re going to argue in favor of capital punishment, you yourself must admit that it’s okay to KILL ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

If we really want to see how modern and “humane” capital punishment works, there is no better place to explore this than with our brothers to the south. 38 States in the USA have capital punishment on the books as a possible punishment for a crime. Currently, 65% of Americans say they support the death penalty. And while that might make everything seem hunky-dory, that’s 35% of people who are forced to murder against their will. And in a country like the United States, 35% is an assload of people.

The government has an obligation to protect its people. Killing others as a means to keep people safe does not come close to actually protecting anyone’s freedom to life. It indirectly demeans everyone. Honestly, think for just a second. Do you really trust government workers with the power to take someone’s life? Do you really want to be 65% in favor of them being able to do something as absolute as that? I mean, what else is the government good at? Fair taxation? Being honest? Balancing the budget? Homosexual Marriage? War? What our kids eat in school? I mean, Jesus fucking Christ! Sometimes it’s even hard to trust them to deliver something you ordered in the mail! Nothing the government has ever proposed has ever ended up being as clean and efficient as it intended it to be, because hey, life is life and shit always happens. Only problem is, when it comes to the issue of killing people in the name of the state and many other difficult questions like:

Is it ever morally right to kill a human being?

Is it okay to kill someone if you aren’t at war and not being immediately threatened by them?

Should we kill someone who commits murder only in HOPES that the fear of the death penalty will deter other criminals?

Do you fully trust the government to make the decision to kill only “bad” people?

All of these issues are questions we still haven’t be able to find one concrete answer to. They can still be ferociously debated, and all of them circle around the death penalty. And if all these questions can still be answered with “WHO THE FUCK KNOWS?!” Then explain to me how the fucking government (who represent US, the people not THEMSELVES) murder criminals with OUR tax money like they have the secret answer to them all. In the United States, courts kill people WITHOUT answering all the questions. And when you do that, then no victim of the death penalty has ever had what is considered a fair trial.

Just the idea that the capital punishment deters crime in any way should shown a little screwy to most people, considering what drives people to murder in the first place. Usually when someone makes the decision to kill someone, they’re pretty fucking pissed, probably to the point where they’ve gone quite bugnutty. When you’re that flipping mad, or depressed or just fucking insane, deterrents don’t matter. That’s why the call it flipping out for fuck sakes! You don’t weigh the cause and effect or action reaction of things when you’re in a murderous rage. This makes wasting time talking about deterrents about as efficient as a condom with a hole in it. Other murders, like compulsion crimes, are even more difficult to truly understand. When someone rapes and kills, it is driven by a powerful urge to do so. It has been documented by some as almost like a sort of fixation. And as creepy as that sounds, people can’t get scared into NOT listening to a fixation. That’s what MAKES it a fixation. Fuck…what are we doing then by killing all these criminals…besides, you know, doing what they did in the first place and MURDERING!!! There are countless examples of killers who denied what they did to the police originally, showing us that the knew FULL WELL what they were getting into, regardless of if they knew they could be killed by the death penalty or not.

An American website, Death Penalty Information Center (or DPIC) has been collecting hard data about the death penalty for many, many years. The website isn’t run by any specific political group or interest group. They exist only to study and collect statistics about capital punishment in the USA, without any bias or sway. A quick read of their numbers will show you that since 1999, murder rates in states WITH death penalties average around 5.5% and in NON death penalty states, murder rates are LOWER at 3.6%. And the interesting thing is, they have remained the same over the passing years, changing only a point of a percentage here and there. Shit. Sorry to fuck up your deterrent argument like that!

Then there is always the possibility of human error. Courts, and even state ordered killing facilities are all made up of humans. And as humans, we sometimes make mistakes. Once again, the website DPIC has compiled a list of over 120 people that have been found to have been innocent who were awaiting their own demise on death row. And this was only since 1973. Imagine that. 120 people who very realistically could have been wrongly killed. And these were just people who fortunately could find the evidence in time to save them. Imagine in the years prior, when DNA research wasn’t heard of yet. How many people BEFORE 1973 have we wrongly killed because of the death penalty? If you support state killings and are willing to do so, even when it means 120 innocent people could potentially die, you’ve got some fucking balls. Please reconsider.

University professor Agnes Heller, who has been a defender of abolishing the death penalty, perhaps makes the most sense of this paradox. No one knows about death and punishment better than herself, as she had to flee the Nazi’s during the second world war. While she managed to avoid capture, her father wasn’t as lucky, and tragically perished in a concentration camp.

“If you support the death penalty and only one single innocent person is killed and killing an innocent person is murder, then you also become murderers. So, you also deserve to be killed. This is the paradox of the death penalty and you cannot avoid this paradox.”

And while it may sound pretty unsexy to say it, there can be some benefit to law enforcement to have these criminals in custody alive. Many don’t want to talk or show remorse for what they’ve done. But often, being locked up in a small room day in and day out without the very basics can sometimes change that. Since he was in prison, notorious Canadian killer Paul Bernardo admitted to TEN other killings and rapes he committed. Cases that were still unsolved to police and the public. Cases that resources and money was still being wasted on. If we had decided to end his life, these cases would still be open, and perhaps a wrongly accused individual would be blamed. And death is an easy way out. It bypasses the punishment all together. To the best of our knowledge, when we die, our minds and consciousness cease to exist. We can’t feel the pain, sorrow or remorse of what we have done. Being locked up in a small room with little freedom is sometimes much more difficult than just being dead. Don’t give them the easy ticket out. Let them live out their punishment, even if it is for the rest of their natural lives.

Don’t even kill Paul Bernardo. He’s not worth that. If the cost is becoming too high, then find ways to cut it. Feed them cheaper food or something. But don’t ever support killing to make a point. I’d rather have my government who is supposed to represent me, pay to keep dangerous offenders locked away for however long they need to be locked away rather than take my money to go towards their death. When the day comes where we do accidentally kill an innocent person on death row (and it will happen, if it hasn’t already), all of us will have paid for that person’s death. We will all be murderers. We live in a progressive society in Canada. As a result of that, the killing of criminals who are already incarcerated and no longer a threat to others naturally needed to stop. Let us keep it that way.

With the recent, high profile arrests of Megaupload employees and the shutting down of their website, the debate of online file sharing has never been more prominent in the media. It’s almost hard to believe that online file sharing is now an issue that is over a decade old and has been troubling artists, the entertainment industry and Metallica for some time now. Ever since Napster was knocked flat on its ass when it was told it couldn’t upload music for other people to download for free any longer, the debate on both sides of the argument have been locked in a head to head battle with little to no progress really being made. I mean, you’d think that after Napster was shut down, it would be obvious that was the end of the line for file sharing online. “Alright, so we can’t share files online that are copyrighted without getting fucked. Got it.” But apparently not. Since then, file sharing has stayed the same, but the various types of P2P methods have changed. Kazza, Limewire, Frostwire, Morpheus…then torrent sites like The Pirate Bay and BTJunkie just to name a few. All of these different methods of file sharing have been both blasted and revered by a large number of people. And now that Megaupload is on trial, it seems like just another day for the online file sharing reality. Lots of attention is drawn to the issue, but not much is achieved. When it comes to file sharing though, who is right here? And more importantly, is there a right?

…I really want to start this paragraph with some sort of intelligent line, quote or statistic (not that I ever really write anything intelligent here, but you know, at least something that sounds semi-legit). I’d really like to come up with some sort of smart-assed line that is both thought provoking and a thinly veiled attempt to capture people’s interest and have them keep reading my babble. What’s worse, I’ve actually been mulling over this entry for a few days now, scouring the internet for articles and reading a shit-ton of viewpoints from many different information outlets. I’ve considered my personal experiences, personal political and moral views, and even a huge summit that took place in the United States with some of the brightest and best minds around, like First Amendment lawyer Bob Corn-Revere. And just like them, I was unable to come up with anything witty, smart, confident, asinine or offensive to say.  I have no fucking clue what to write about when it comes to this issue, because I just don’t know. I can’t comfortably say file sharing should be legal just as much as I can’t comfortably say it should be illegal. And if you don’t want to hear the rantings of some completely confused guy, then please stop reading right now. 

If you haven’t left and are starting this paragraph, then thank you. Maybe YOU can help me. I never claim the stuff I write about on Tumblr to be free of bias or anything else Fox News tries to pretend it’s like, because hey, this is my fucking blog so of COURSE it’s going to be bias. But when I was reading up on file sharing, I really looked at quite a broad spectrum of ideas. Possibly because a large amount of people have used file sharing software at least once in their life, and many, many more use it on quite a regular basis. In the United States alone, it was estimated that 70 million participate in online file sharing. 70 million is probably close to the amount of money some of these artists who were ripped off online make after a few years of touring and selling out arenas. But fuck, is that reason alone enough to make it okay for us to take their songs and hand them out for free? No, I don’t think it can justify losing out on making money on a craft you have spent a lot of your life perfecting. And while making money and artistic integrity are often at odds, wealth is something we all desire at some point. We all want food on the table, money to put our children through school and material things we can enjoy. Many artists are in demand, so they are going to make a lot of overhead. It’s still their money. I don’t believe it for a second when some asshole like Bono of U2 goes on TV and tells me that downloading music is hurting the artists you like. Bono is making money no matter what he does, and it doesn’t fucking matter to him. It just makes him look like more of a saint when he goes on TV and passionately tells people to stop “stealing.” Bono could tell people passionately to eat their own shit, and make a convincing argument out of it just because he’s Bono. Someone out there would eat their own shit. Seriously. I can’t really complain, because next to Bono I look about as well cultured and intelligent as a Beverly Hillbilly. I do believe that file sharing can hurt the small artists though. It is probably to some extent hurting the music industry. Just not the way we’re lead to believe. I think plenty of stars get behind the “file sharing is hurting us” battle, because it makes more of an impact when people think they are personally hurting Lady GaGa or Metallica whenever they download a song. Most of these bigger stars however, are paid to make records. I don’t think someone in their position of showbiz power just say to themselves one day “let’s go into a studio and make a CD, then we’ll just see how it sells and if I don’t make a profit, well too bad. I better try harder next time.” Fuck that. Lady GaGa gets handed a big check BEFORE she puts out her work, just to MAKE the album. Or she is on a contract for several albums, and is guaranteed enough money before hand so she can sit at home and be paid just to be Lady GaGa. If anything, file sharing could be positive here. If someone downloads Lady GaGa’s new single via file sharing and loves it, they’ll probably want to go to a live show. Bands can make a HUGE amount of money touring North America and other countries. U2 raised over $20 million alone on their last tour. And that was just one tour. Just one tour and they already never have to work again.

File sharing hurts the root of the business more than the stars they promote. Record labels are obviously in a tizzy, and it’s not just because they’re big, greedy corporate capitalists as we like to make them out to be. When 70 million people download stuff for free, you’ve got a problem.  That’s a huge hit to profits. And when times are difficult, many industries don’t want to spend the money to find new talent, which is where most of that money goes. When young bands or acts are just starting out, the record industries need to funnel more money into who they believe in for marketing and to really give them a boost before they are able to sell out arenas on their own. But with the “oh, we’d support them, but they’re just going to get downloaded for free” attitude comes out. And it shows. The real talent in major labels isn’t what it used to be. For every band that possesses some form of artistic credibility, you’ve got a dozen more Justin Biebers or Rebecca Blacks taking the stage, not because they’re talented, but because they’re an easy bet to make money off of. 

Still, even after all the evidence of how the entertainment industry is damaged by file sharing, the moral issue of the matter still stands. 70 million people is a large segment of the population. I personally know (myself included) many who have had experiences with file sharing online. They do not consider themselves to be thieves. In fact, some of them are highly intelligent, good people who would never steal, or resort to what they thought was criminal activity. And while file sharing has been presented to us by the FBI and record labels time and time again as just those very things, they still do it. In fact, I am certain the vast majority of those 70 million who have used file sharing to obtain some sort of media for free are indeed decent, law abiding, good hearted people, just because most people are.

Music is something that is difficult to control, because it is an infinite product. It isn’t like lending someone a power tool or a kitchen item. With the more modern technology we now have, it is very easy to make copies of music and share them with your friends for free. Back in the day (not that far back either) people could make mix tapes by recording right off the radio, or could share a record with your friends by recording it to a tape. It wouldn’t be CD quality, but it didn’t sound that bad. Making a mix tape for a friend or two wasn’t a crime, as long as you weren’t making money off the exchange. No one was ever arrested for making a tape of their friends either. Now, with the internet, the same thing can be done…just on a much wider scale. Someone can buy a CD and share it for free with pretty much anyone. The problem is, how can you put a law on sharing? If I share music with a few friends it’s okay, but if I want to share it with a larger number of people who maybe can’t afford or don’t want to pay for the music…that can get me a ticket to prison? Even if a law is made, how can we say exactly how many people we can be allowed to share with? How can we ethically reach that decision? If we give our government the power to tell us when we can and cannot share (not re-sell, but share) information, they are able to gain too much power. Most people aren’t comfortable (and shouldn’t be) giving up that right. It’s the same reason SOPA was but on the back-burner. Sure, it had good intentions, but it gave the government the power to block certain websites and invade the privacy of many others…and extra power to the government isn’t always a good solution as the past always proves. 

So when it’s all said and done, I believe both these things. I can only conclude that I don’t really know. Why bother taking all those lines to just state the obvious? In hopes that while we’re still figuring out how these new files sharing issues will effect copyright and morality, we don’t get ahead of ourselves. And while those with good intentions may do their best to come up with quick and direct solutions like SOPA, don’t throw away our rights as a civilizations and hand over basic freedoms during this time of confusion. Shutting down Megaupload and Limewire may bolster the FBI and government’s reputation for being big, scary and serious, but it does nothing to solve the real problem and come up with a moral and ethical solution to the problem. With freedom, there will always be excess. Excessive sharing, protest and debate. If you don’t want to constructively address these issues, freedom is lost. The answer to this issue is still out there, just don’t give up all our basic rights trying to find it.

Thanks for reading.